The World As I See It

I am late, I am late, I know. I am sorry.

Where: it’s not a physical location. It’s a frame of mind. I will meet God where I stand. Even if it sucks. Even if it’s not fucking helpful right now.

I am a shut-in; I don’t have agoraphobia, but I don’t do well when I leave my house. I see things that are not there. I am followed by cars that are not there, all while trying to navigate reality.

Today, some guy had to come and inspect a water heater that got put in my house recently. I don’t like people in my house. I don’t. Other than family, and select family at that. So I have had to clean my house like the army was showing up to lick the floors because that’s how my brain works. It’s been miserable. Attention is difficult.

All day long it’s been

“I told you to handle this before it got this bad”

I know, I know…

I told you to handle this before it gets bad; it’s good advice. That advice comes from someone who’s had it bad; who knows. And he doesn’t want to see you suffer. On top of that, I decided to have family over for dinner; to really force myself into a situation I couldn’t wiggle out of.

I pray for community.

“build it then, but first, clean your house”

Also good advice.

Today we are cleaning; today we are getting rid of all the shit we don’t need. And cleaning the things we have neglected. I pray everyone reading this is intelligent enough to understand what I am saying. But in case you are deaf, blind, and dumb like me.

LISTEN before it gets bad. Pray, think, write, love.

I hope you are having a wonderful day. I hope you are happy.

You are loved by Jesus and me.

I know, I know…(God throws a rag at me and tells me we got shit to do)